Reflection Upon The Moon
by Evey71393
Summary: Arizona girl, Rin,is sent to a institute for killing her teacher.Upon arrival,she meets Sesshomaru,a apprentice of her therapist.She falls for him,but her disorder prevents her from having a relationship. Will she capture his heart or be 'put down' before
1. Intro

I decided to write a new story due to the fact that I'm sorta stuck on Chapter 18 of _Crescent Blade_. Hope ya like it!

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Rainbows, aren't they pretty? I live in Arizona, so they come once in a blue moon. But when there is a rare rainfall, that's all I look forward to, a rainbow. I wonder if there's actually a pot of gold at the end, or even a farm of elves, either which would be great. The sky is covered in a veil of transparent colors, and slowly fades away.

And clouds, fluffy, like little cottonballs. They make the sky more pretty with birds flying over them. Even better, they block the burning sun during the summer. That is the best part of them.

But I always wondered, ever since I was a kid, what would it look like if there was a rainbow at night? The veil tossed over the luminous moon with glistening stars behind. It would be so beautiful. If only it was real...

"Rin! Time for dinner!"I heard my mom say."Stop daydreaming, and come in!"

"Coming!"I answered back, hoping out of my hammock.

Before anything, I should introduce myself. I'm Rin Minekawa, I'm 15 & live in a crappy trailor in the middle of a small desert community called, Stardust. I don't really have any friends, except Kanna, my neighbor. She's 13 & unfortunely, is homeschooled. My mom stopped homeschooling me 2 years ago, but a early release can't help my social skills. I am pretty social, its just that I'm bipolar. One time, I'm happy and trustworthy. The next, I'm a cold-hearted bastard, telling everyone your secerts.

I can't really control it, it just happens. I've been given medicine and nothing helps it. Many people can keep it under control, but I can't. My body rejects the medicine, and its horrible. I might be depressed for several hours, and many times I though about suicide. Everything is wrong, corrupted, in my brain. In reality, I'm the corrupted one. I scare people when I rant about death & war, and they walk away. I get more mood swings then a pregnant woman, and that statement is not to be funny. Its permanent PMSing and nothing I can do about it.

School's the worse. I have to be put in special classes because of it. I might be interested in a project at one point, then in the middle, find it pointless to do. It sucks. So many times, I thought of just stabbing a pen into my wrist, letting the ink poison my blood, and let me die, crumbled up in a corner of my classroom. I know I can't do it, but I attempted.

I ran inside and plopped onto one of the wooden chairs we have laying around in the living room. I grabbed a tray, placing it on my thighs. My mom came by and placed down a plate of mashed potatoes & chicken. Its my favorite dish. Mainly cause we don't have enough money to buy anything other then potatoes,chicken,rice, lettuce, and ramen. We spent so much money getting medication for my disorder that we don't have enough to get anything else. Mood stabilizers, antidepressants, antipsychotics, and even electroconvulsive therapy, the works.

"Eat up sweetheart. Remember, tomorrow is your first day of school, so be good."my mom said, sitting down with her plate.

"Mom, you know I'm not in a steady behavioral state like most kids. I'm depressed and manic."I answered, chomping down on some chicken.

"I know, but I just wish I could help you with your disorder.There's-"

"Nothing you can do. I know that myself."I said for her.

Dinner stayed quiet after awhile, to the point where I found it too quiet. _'Aw, great. Here comes the manic part of bipolar.' _I immediately jumped out of my seat and turned on the sink.

"Not loud enough."I whispered to myself. I rushed to the blender, turning it on. _'Not enough!' _My head screamed.

"Rin, did you take your medication today? Rin!"My mom asked, getting up. I started laughing for no reason, turning on everything there is in the kitchen.

"Rin!"Mom yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders. I pushed her away, and grabbed a knife, digging into my arm. I watch blood poured out, and loved how it felt. _'Let me die! Let me die!' _my head shrieked.

"Stop it! Stop it now, Rin! Don't do this to yourself!"Mom screamed, trying to pull the knife from my hand. I kicked her multiple times, but she kept her hold. It slipped, and out of nowhere, I start licking the blood. I still laughed manically, enjoying all the pain my body was enduring. It felt so good, knowing I can finally escape this world & be free from this disorder which limited my experience I could have of life.

"Get yourself under control! Rin!"was all I heard. I was blinded by suicide to see whoever was talking to me. I pulled my knees into my chest, laughing like a lunatic. But it slowly faded into crying when I realized what I was doing myself. Tears poured from my eyes, as I buried my head into my legs. Blood & tears dripped onto the floor, and I listened to the splattering. _'1, 2, 3, 4..'_

I looked up to see my mom lying on the floor, with the knife in her leg. She pulled it out, and it was covered with blood.

"Mom, I'm so sorry."I said, crawling over to her.

She hugged me, whispering,"Its ok, its ok..."

_'No it isn't. It'll never be ok as long as I'm around.' _I thought. '_I'm the reason why we're poor. I'm the reason why dad left us. I'm the reason why mom gets hurt. I'm the reason for everything bad.'

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Please review if you can. Constructive critcism is accepted after all. XD 


	2. Stardust

Here's chapter 2. If you have any ideas that I should do for Chapter 18 for _Crescent Blade_, please like tell me in a review or something...

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"Ok Rin, what's 2+2?" Ms. Goola asked.

I rolled my eyes and huffed,"I'm 15. Just because I have a disorder doens't mean I'm stupid. And its 4. Aren't you supposed to work with the other special people?"

Ms. Goola blinked."What other special people?"

"The ones who have physical disablities? You know. Big heads, tumors, missing fingers, enlarged mouth, etc, etc?"

Ms. Goola walked out of the classroom after that. I returned to doodling in my notebook. Knifes, razorblades, and pills...oh, don't forget suicide poems, super ain't it? I looked around the room, which only had 7 kids. I'm not really friends with any of them, even though there is one guy who's also bipolar.

We don't talk because he can't stand loudness, and I can stand when its too quiet, we don't clash well. There's one girl in this class I used to talk to. Her name's Kaitlin, she has bibliophobia, the fear of books. Since every normal class has books, she has to be in this class. She could go to normal classes...if everyone & every classroom didn't have books.

She spotted me & waved. I waved back. Even though we aren't really close, it feels good to have one person to talk to.

"Rin, pay attention."Mrs. Jeffrey said.

I turned back to her, & asked,"Is there a point of knowing history?"

"Yes. To know how your country became the United States."

"This isn't my country. I'm Japanese, I was _forced_ to live here. My country is Japan."I answered.

Mrs. Jeffery growled,"Well, if Japan's your country, why aren't you living there?"

"Because, in my mom's words, my grandfather was a total bastard about my mom marrying my dad, and she refused to live in the same country, let along continent as him."

"Just pay attention! You'll never get to college with that attitude."she snapped.

"Pfft! Like they'd except me. I'll have to be put in special classes the whole freaking 2 and/or 4 years I'm there."

Mrs. Jeffery slammed her hand on the desk."Listen Rin! I had to deal with your ignorance since you entered this school! I'm tired of you insulting my teaching skills! For once, stop acting like the world evolves around you and our disability and that everyone has to feel bad about you!"

"I'll stop when I'm treated like a normal person instead of a danger!"I spat.

"You are a danger! Whenever your emotions turn out of control, you're a danger!"

I covered my ears, shaking my head."I can't hear you!"I screamed. _'No, please not now.' _

"Rin! Don't you dare do it now!"she said.

"I can't hear you! I can't hear you!"I screamed repeatedly. _'She's one of them! She's one of those bastards who treat me like a wild animal! I don't deserve to live and neither does she!' _

"I need security! Get her under control!"she ordered to the 4 security people who stood against the wall. I felt arms grabbing hold of my body, and I hated it.

"Let me go!"I shrieked at the top of my lungs. I lashed out at the guys, kicking, & clawing, but they were restraining me. Everyone in the class starred at me, whispering to each other, presumedly about me.

"See Rin? You are a danger to all those around you. Your teachers, you classmates, your mom. Even. Your. Self."Mrs. Jeffery spat.

I was so enraged about this. My own teacher, who is supposed to be nice, thinks I'm a danger. I broke out of their hold, grabbed a pen, and tackled her down. I listened to her screams, as I choked her with one hand and stabbed her with the other. _'Die! I want to you die!' _Blood spread all over the floor, and her voice faded away, to the point where I only heard my grunts of anger and flesh peeling off her body.

Security grabbed me and held me down to the floor, so I couldn't move. "I'll be back for you Mrs. Jeffery! I'll finished you off in hell!"I shrieked. I heard sirens outside the school building and the footsteps of people running into the room. All I felt was me being handcuffed, and the pain I had. All 47 stabs in her body was because of me.

_'Because of me...everything bad that happens is because of me.'_

"Hold her down! Get the tranquilazer gun!"a voice yelled.

"No! Let me go! Leave me alone!"I ordered. No one listened. They continued to hold me down, saying stuff to each other like, _'Do you think she's gonna be put in a happy house?' _

_'She just killed her own teacher. She might. She wouldn't be able to hold up in a juvenille facility, let alone jail.'_

_'Hear that, missy? Probably for 10 years of your life will be spent in a happy home. Think you can take it?'_

Just shut up."I mumbled, getting tired of being held down to the ground.

Super. I'm going to a mental institute, isn't that nice? I felt a thin piece of metal going into my back, and drips of blood running down my side. The room became fuzzy, & dissolved into nothingness...

_'Its all my fault...'_

I saw myself falling into a pit of darkness...

_'For my teacher's death...'_

Drifting into the black abyss...

_'For my mom's depression...'_

And landing in a pile of knives...

_'For my own hopeless dreams...'_

Where I layed, enjoying the surge of pain, rushing through my veins. The glorious red paint that covered the knives, each one crying, begging for more...

_'And for my dad leaving us...'_

I leant back, letting each blade bathe in my own agony & anguish...

_'I'll be here by myself...'_

Until emotions become nothing but stardust in the wind...

_'Dreaming about my pathetic, lunar rainbows...'_

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_Hope u enjoyed it! XD 


	3. White

Here's chapter 3. Enjoy it. If you haven't already, read my other story Crescent Blade. Please! I need a few ideas because I'm stuck on Chap. 18...or was it 19...well, anywho, after reading it, please review.

When u review it, please put up an idea that you might want to be in the next chapter. I'll evaluate them & use them for it. Please? I'm totally stuck. I have writer's block on Crescent Blade.

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Destruction..coarspes..cemetaries..death..war..sorrow..sadness..tears..violence..crying..bleeding..hurt..heartbroken..hatred.._

"Rin Minekawa? This is the girl?"

"Yep."

"She's so small. How could she murder her own teacher?"

"She's not that small. Bipolar disorder often leads to anger and suicide and death, so she turned manic and ended up killing the teacher. Usually, they hurt themselves, not others. Its happens whenever someone steps in the path of their destructive rant that'll they do damage."

"Oh. When will she wake up?"

"In awhile. Maybe in a minute or two. She has to wake up before we get to the institute though, so she'll be shown around."

_Agony..pain..anguish..angst..fear..despair..dangerous..screaming..murder..shrieking..mourning..gloomy..hollow..empty..apathic.._

"So Dr. Onigumo is waiting for her there?"

"Yep."

"I heard he has a new apprentice."

"Yeah, his name is Sesshumaro or something like that."

"You think this new kid can handle her?"

"Doubt it."

_Doubt..distress..struggle..suffer..grief..wounds..scars..cuts..burial..coffin..weeping..injury..slaughter..execute..terror..dread..peril.._

I woke up in a moving van. The scent of booze and strong cologne was suffocating as I tried to sit up. I fell over twice, but I sat up. I looked around the van.

Tranquilazer gun, strait jackets, & a broken mirror. I looked closely into the mirror, seeing a shattered girl in a strait jacket. She frowned, unhappy about what she saw.

_'More misery to enter my crappy life. Sweet.'_ I thought. I tried breaking out of this jacket, but it didn't work. _'I officially hate jackets.'_

The back door opened, blinding me with the brightest light I seen. Arms reached out for me, but I backed up.

"Come here, you little brat!"one of the guys yelled at me. He grabbed me by the arm, pulling me from the van, and I fell on the ground. I was getting up when the guy shoved me forward.

"Walk, you twerp!"he ordered, shoving me more. I growled and did as he said. I started walking on this sidewalk & looked up at the building I was heading to. It was 4 stories and was white with dead vines creeping onto the sides. The lawn was purely the greenest grass I ever seen...well, truthfully, this is my first time seeing it. I live in a desert. Grass appears once in a blue moon.

I shuffled towards the field, which the guard people kept pushing. _'All of them should just die. Die like Mrs. Jeffery_.'My mind said, but I shook the idea of murder out of my brain. Murder is what got me here, no need to have more reasons to stay. But I just wanted to take a knife, cut away my feelings again, make them non-existant.

"Stop walking."the guy said, pulling back on the jacket I flew back into him and fell onto the grass. _'Grass smells weird.' _I thought.

"Get up!"I heard the guy ordered. I planted my elbows into the ground, trying to get up, but I fell over. I scanned across the lawn, and saw a pair of brown shoes step near my face.

"You should treat my patients better, Frederick. After all, she has to survive if I'm going to do anything for her."a voice said.

"My name's Fred. Not Frederick."Fred spat, grabbing the back of my jacket.

He started pulling me up when the voice said,"Try to be more gentle. You know what, just drop her."

Fred dropped me to the ground, faceplanting myself into grass. _'You all suck.' _

"Help her up."the voice spoke. I saw a pair of knees kneel in front of me & arms gripping the jacket. It wasn't painful, more delicate. They pulled me into a well-defined chest, as we stood up. I looked up to see the most beautiful man I ever seen.

Those vivacious, amber eyes just pierced into my heart, gosh! He had this long, silky, silver hair I just wanted to run my fingers through and snuggle into his arms. And he had this face markings, gorgeous! On his cheek were these red scar-looking ones and on his forehead was this pretty purple moon. It reminded me of my lunar rainbow...

He raised an eyebrow, and let go of me. He dug his hands into his pockets, waiting for something to happen. I looked at the ground, trying my best to avert my eyes from his handsomeness. I spotted the familiar brown shoes step up to me and gentle fingers lift my chin up.

I was staring into the red eyes of this tall man."Hello. You're Rin Minekawa, right?"he asked. I nodded. "I'm Dr. Naraku Onigumo. I'm going to be your therapist over the period of time you're going to stay."

"How long am I going to stay here?"I asked.

"5 years tops. But I'm sure you'll get out early for good behavior. Maybe 2 years. Depends. This is Sesshomaru Taisho."Dr. Onigumo said, pointing to him."He's my apprentice. The times when I'm having a meeting with the doctors, he'll be subsituting. Everything will be further explained later, for now, I'm going to show you around. Come."

He turned towards the building, taking a few steps. The Fred dude shoved me forward. Dr. Onigumo looked back and said,"Your presence is no longer needed. Sesshomaru, walk with Rin."

Sesshomaru nodded, and stepped up with me. He wrapped an arm around me, starting to walk. I did too, but I was more interested in him to acually care where the hell anything was in this joint. Chances are, I'm going to be spending the years trapped in a little white room than going anywhere.

_'White...ugh, that color is so annoying.' _I thought, now entering the building. The walls were blinding white and white lights, ooh, even better. ---sarcasm. The doctor turned to me, and said,"This is the lobby. If you want to go outside, you come down here to sign out. Sometimes, medication is given here, & if there's any doctors or keepers you need to speak with, ask the ladies at the front desk."

We started walking again, entering this wing that (if its possible) was whiter than the lobby. There was tons of doors, and little windows in them.

"Oh great, the boarding rooms. Let me guess, dirty cot with one window?"I muttered to Sesshomaru. He rolled his eyes and mouthed, _'Tell me about it.' _

Dr. Onigumo stopped at #713 and pulled out a key. He slid it in, opening the door.

"This will be your room. You won't have to stay in a strait jacket, its only for the outbreaks like the one you had in school. You are pretty much free to go where you please."He said.

_'White, white, white! Damn! I'm so sick of it!' _I screamed in my head, but only heard the echos. He closed the door, continuing the tour. He showed me the recreation area, the cafeteria, & the gardens, yet I still didn't care. I was with Sesshomaru and that's truly all I cared about. Once in a while, he shot me some pity looks whenever the doctor said that something was _'fabulous.' _

Dr. Onigumo brought us back to my room, and I sat down on the cot, which seriously was flat and uncomfortable. He sat down on a leather seat, leaving Sess standing around.

"Sit boy." the doctor said, patting the area next to me. He shook his head, and looked around the room. "You should be paying attention to what I'm doing instead of counting the number of buttons in the wall."

He nodded, glancing occasionally at me. Dr. Onigumo turned back to me and asked,"So, what is your disorder?"

"Bipolar."

"Random outbreaks and depression?"

"Yep."

"Do you know what cause your particular outbreak?"

"My teacher was being a pain in the ass, saying I'm a danger to everyone around me."

"That's one trigger."

"Triggers. Hate that word."I mumbled, tapping my foot.

Dr.Onigumo faced Sesshomaru again, saying,"I can't stand you just standing there. Sit down next to Rin."

He rolled his eyes, giving a huff. Naraku eyed him with those firey red eyes. "Sit."He ordered. Sesshomaru sighed and did as he told. I was able to tell he felt uncomfortable because he shuffled around a lot.

"Now, if we can contin-"Dr. Onigumo was cut off by a ringing sound. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell.

"Hello? Oh, Dr. Hanks. Yes. Yes. Oh ok. Thanks. Yeah I know. Fine. Ok. Bye."He said and turned it off.

"Well, our time's up. I got a call from Dr. Hanks and he said that all doctors are to report to the meeting room. Sesshomaru, do you want to stay here and take care of Rin?"he asked.

He shrugged."Fine. Goodbye you two."he said and left us by ourselves.

Its weird. That I got here. Murder,outbursts,suicide, ugh! I looked down at my horrible strait jacket. It was so fastened tight on me that I could hardly breathe. I smelled the mug scent of others on it. It smelled like death. Just I thought that, an arm twists me around to the left. I heard hands shuffling around with back buckles. Eventually, the jacket fell onto the cot.

I turned back to Sesshomaru, who was leant over, folding the jacket into a triangle. I watched him do this for a bit until his amber eyes met my chocolate eyes. He blinked a few times, not breaking eye contact at all. I felt heat rushing to my face because he was pretty close. voice spoke. We looked at the doorway. A tall black haired woman stood there in a white nurse outfit. She had the exact red eyes as Dr. Onigumo. Sharp, piercing crimson eyes that resembled blood.

'Blood...bleeding. The smooth, metal edge of the knife that pierced my flesh, letting emotions out through veins. I don't need therapy. I need a blade. It soothes my mind and lets me think rationally...'

The dip next to me lifted as Sesshomaru headed towards the door. He was already at the doorway when I asked,"Sesshomaru?" He looked back at me, hand on the handle.

"I have some questions for you. One, are you a mute? If you are not a mute, how come you haven't spoken at all?"I asked.

He blinked twice, and sighed."If you must know, I'm not mute, obviously. And I don't like speaking that much."he answered, rolling his eyes most of the time.

_'Wow, he has a sexy voice.' _"Do you want to leave this room and do something besides looking at the wall?"he asked.

I nodded quickly and hopped off the cot. I practically ran to him & he stopped me with a finger.

"Careful. If you act all giddy, people might think you're having an outburst or something. I don't think you want to be strapped into a straitjacket again, now do you?"he said, calmly. I nodded, heaving a sigh.

_'I hate white...'_

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Hope u enjoyed it. Please review this story. And review my other story Crescent Blade. Give me ideas! 


	4. Liar

Here's another chapter. Seriously, peeps. I'm lost on Crescent Blade. In your reviews, for either story, please submit ideas for Chapter 18._

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_Weird._

That's how I feel about this place. I hate white. Officially hate it. White is going to becomema trigger to me if they do not get another color somewhere. I'm tired of it.

_Weird._

That describes how I got here. From living in a crappy trailer in the middle of a desert to staying in a crazy house, somewhere in Montegomery.

_Weird_.

That tells everyone about my pyschopathic outburst that led to the murder of my teacher. They either think I'm weird, or fear me.

_Weird_.

That says to everyone how the food here is. I'm not sure what the food here is. Hell, I think my school's food is better. At least I was close with my guesses on what the meatballs really are. Here, I mistook a glob of spaghetti for meatloaf. Ew. That's how the food is. I feel like ordering pizza from Domino's or something.

"Are we allowed to order food from the outside world?"I asked Sesshomaru, as I continued to poke the _'spaghetti.' _Its all big, crusty, and brown...it looks so much like meatloaf!

"Yes, you can. But you at least have to eat one meal here."Sesshomaru answered. He took a sip of his Coke, and I listened to the sound of it splashing in the can.

"Dude, look at this!"I exclaimed, poking the spaghetti extra hard with my fork. And out flew these juices."How is this spaghetti in any way form? Did you just see the liquid that sprayed out of this thing!"

He shuddered and took another sip of his soda."I ate it once. Trust me. Drench it in ketchup. It'll taste like KFC chicken...original recipe.It obsorbs liquids. Maybe, the cooks sweated over it."He commented.

I pushed the plate far away from me."Ew. Nasty. I don't care if I have to starve, I will not eat this."

"They might put an IV tube in your skin & pump it in."he added.

I stomped my feet and shook my head. "I rather eat limburger cheese...as long as there's kethcup."I said. I eyed the spaghetti, which was now drenched in its own juices. I shuddered again. _'How do these people eat this stuff?'_

Sesshomaru got out of seat and walked to the recycling bin. I glanced back at the plate. The brown thing started...moving? It jumped a bit and climbed over to the edge of the platter. Then there was a sprinkler of the liquid coming out, like the waterhole in a whale. It sprayed up into the air and rained all over me.

I jumped out of my seat and squealed. He returned to see me sitting on the grass, jaw dropped basically to the ground in shock.

"What happened?"He asked.

"What the fuck!"I screamed.I pointed at the wet, soggy spaghetti which just fell off the table."How can you not be aware that, that meatloaf thing just crawled off the plate and fell off the table? I seriously will not eat any of this junk! I need a large sausage and mushroom pizza with extra cheese from Domino's and a medium Sprite, this instant!"

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and whipped out a cellphone. He dialed a number and waited."Um, yes. Can I have a large sausage & mushroom pizza with extra cheese and a medium Sprite? Yes. yeah. 238 Summerville Boulevard. Yeah. Bye."H ehung and faced me.

"You're getting your pizza, kay?"he said. I nodded with a humongous smile. He sat back down, twindling his thumbs. He looked off, basically anywhere and at everyone except me. That gave me the opportunity for me to stare at him, yay!

I sat back in my chair, staring at his beauty. He has this nice jawline that I want to trace and thses ears. So pointy and adorable! YAY! He has no facial hair, so he seems to have an angelic face, with those gorgeous amber eyes. They seem to be fill of anger and sorrow, like mine, but mine aren't so pained. His bangs curled carefully around the crescent moon on his forehead and it made me feel welcomed. Welcomed to kiss it and it'll allow me to see my lunar rainbows at night.

"Rin?"his voice asked. I shook my head and realized that I was caught. His eyes were now in malevolent slits, and one eyebrow was raised."Are you ok?"

_'Is he concerned? Or just saying this because if he's mean to a patient, he might not be an apprentice anymore..'_

"Uh, I'm fine."I answered. I looked back at my hands, which seemed to be filthy from being sprayed by the meatloaf. The olive-green liquid dripped off my badly painted nails onto the chair, and it was obsorbed into the material. I watched this act for a bit before reaching for a napkin to wipe it clean. I brought it back and dryed off my hand, only to realize it wasn't a napkin.

I glanced back to Sesshomaru, who really didn't seemed amused. I grabbed his hand instead. I still held onto his hand and tried to apolgized.

"Oopsie! My fault! Hahaha! Silly me! I meant to get a napkin, and I guess I got you! Haha!"I chirped, acting as sheepish as I could. He growled and ripped his hand from my hold.

"Next time, look before you grab."he snarled, scooting back into his seat. The venom-filled sentence made my heart sink.

_'I don't think he was actually concerned about me. I guess he can be mean to patients. Or maybe because I'm the closest one to nomal in this whole joint.'_

I leant back in my chair, staring at my sand-colored sneakers with their neon red laces, which dripped over the top. I shuffled my feet a bit, just to give me something to do while I wait for the pizza.

_'Red laces...they are long enough for me commit suicide with. Then I won't be a burden to anyone anymore. I'll be gone and my mom will be by herself. She'll afford food for herself and they'll be more room in the trailer. But Kanna, she'll miss me. My only friend in this world...'_

Everything started becoming dark, until I was poked in the shoulder.

"Rin? Your pizza's here."a voice spoke into my ear. The person's breath sent a electric shock from my earlobe through my spine. It was warm and smelled like Coca-Cola.

My eyes fluttered open, trying to adjust to the sudden burst of light that was shone upon me. Once my eyes were ok, I saw Sesshomaru in front of me..._really_ close to my face.

"You almost passed out."he informed me."Out of hunger, I suppose?"

_'Nice. Just add sarcasm to make be feel worse.'_

"Yeah. And later, I'm going to lick the carpet because it reminds me of vanilla icing."I sneered, throwing back his own poison.

"Ooh,"he muttered, rolling his eyes,"That stung so much. What's next? Telling me that my hair makes me look like a girl? If so, you'll be number 49 on the list of people who said that."

I groaned. "Just get out of my face, before you end up like my teacher."I snapped, pushing his face out mine. He stumbled a little and glared at me with those beautiful amber eyes. I saw the fire, glistening and burning in his pupils. He knew tension was occurring, but I really don't care. I still like him, its just that my disorder is taking over and making me irritable.

Sesshomaru sat back in his chair, still staring at me the same. He propped himself on an elbow, letting his hand delicately land on his cheek. I inspected his hands.

Long, slender fingers attached to his strong hand, which below, around his wrist was the same facial marks.They traced around the wrist, but wasn't a complete circle. He has these long, snow-white nails that were tinted red in the front and I found it attractive. They layed, almost naturally, on his gentle skin, as his chin was cupped in his hand.

I know we can't have a relationship. But I want one. Its probably not allowed to date a patient. Hell, from all the movies I seen, they basically make it illegal. All of a sudden, Sesshomaru's eyes softened, and fluttered in...confusion?

"Are you sure you're ok?"he asked, raising an eyebrow.

_'Great. Now he probably thinks I'm some giddy schoolgirl in love.'_

"No. I'm fine."I chirped.

_'Lying_.'

"Completely and totally fine."

_'Liar_.'

"Why wouldn't I be?"

_'Liar, liar, pants on fire.'_

"Will you shut up?"I screamed, and quickly covered my mouth after realizing I said that out loud.

_'Thought bubble, schoolgirl. You are such an airhead.'_

I looked up to see Sesshomaru utterly surprised. His eyes were wide open and blinked a lot of times, like _Did-I-just-hear-what-I-just-heard?_

"Uh.."I started. He slowly returned to normal, as I held my _'uh' _for awhile. I stopped and quickly said,"That was a really nice lunch we had. Send the pizza back to me later. Bye bye!" And I ran for my life back to my room.

_'Nice going, liar. Now he thinks you're even more messed up than you are already.'_

"Just shut up."I whispered to myself.

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That's chapter 4. xoxoxoxox 


	5. Selfish

Update!

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I miss the clear blue sky that I used to look at, as I swung in the hemp hammock. How it was covered by the translucent balls of white and how the sun sparkled over the dew which sat tranquilly on a leaf.

I miss the blue-black sky that I used to look at, as I starred out my bedroom window. I'd always tell mom that I'd become a star, floating above our home and whispering goodnight to her in the wind. The stars will glisten and the moon would give us our lunar lighting.

My trailer park & the roads near by don't have streetlights, so we depend on the moon to show us the way home. Traveling down the sand-covered streets in a messed up Toyota or recently spray-painted Chevy. I self-conciously heard the paint dripping off the fender, onto the road. The car only goes 24 miles per hour due to no lights, so by the time we got home, it'd be as dry as the desert, and be chipped off by morning.

Now, I have to spend 2 to 5 years in a crazy home. Compared to the crappy trailer park with no lights, I'd rather be sleeping in my old bed, which reeked old booze and cigarette ashes from when dad lived with us. I remember continually spraying it with lavender air freshners and 18 bottles of Febreeze, and the scent remained untouched.

"I guess dad wants to stay here."My mom's gentle voice spoke. I knew how she felt. Her high school sweetheart, leaving her after finding out the mistake she had given birth too. Dad loved mom, but he didn't want to deal with a irritable, soon-to-be-PMSing, bipolar-disordered daughter.

Only memoir I have of him. An smelly bed. What a gift to his daughter. I slept in his filth for 15 years, and now I sleep in the death of hundreds of crazy people with all kinds of disorders and phobias.

"Rin Minekawa, please report to the lobby. Rin Minekawa, please report to the lobby. Thank you."the intercom spoke. I heard the hatch of the door open and a tall man in white (oh, I didn't see that coming sarascm) uniform, holding it open. I got up from the dirty cot and headed through the door. The followed me, making sure I didn't do anything wrong as we walked down the evil hallway of white.

We arrived to the lobby, but why do I have to report here? I looked over at the front desk and saw a women with long brown hair. She wore a pink floral shirt and tight jeans and was talking with the lady in the front desk. She turned her head towards me and smiled. It was...my mom?

She looked so different. She looked...tralior-trash! Dude, she so does not dress like that. Floral shirt and straight-legged jeans, with rubber flip flops? No way.

"Sweetheart!"she squealed, running over to me and giving me a humongous bear hug.

"Mom! I'm so happy to see you!"I said, between gasps of breath.

"I missed you. I've been a wreck without you."she said, letting go.

"I see. But I only been for, what, a few hours?"

"Uh.."she began. 'I see where I get it from now.' "Yeah. Bout that..." She was totally embarrassed. Redface and everything.

I patted her shoulder, nodding my head, acknowledgingly. "Its ok. Sometimes we do things that are completely stupid."I calmly said, like Dr. Onigumo.

A harsh voice spoke into my ear,"Like at lunch?" I recognized the venom.

"Sesshomaru."I muttered, rolling my eyes. As the whirl came to a stop, my eyes landed on Sesshomaru. His eyes had no emotion whatsoever, focused on me & my mom.

"Mom, this is Sesshomaru. He's my therapist's apprentice. Sesshomaru, my mom, Reina."I said. Mom stuck her hand out to him, and grabbed it, shaking it for 3 seconds.

"You'll be taking your medication in a few minutes. Also, do you need any _'girl stuff?' _"he spoke. _'Girl stuff?...oh, yeah. Girl stuff..'_

"Uh, sure."I replied. He sighed, and walked up to front desk. I watched him chat with the lady, until she handed him a little baby-blue bag. He returned and handed it to me.

"Please take it. I feel weird holding this."he whispered, low enough for only me to hear. I nodded, pulling it to my side.

"Mom,"I started,"I gotta drop this off at my room. You mind waiting?"

"I'll go with you."she chirped, looping her arm through mine. She gave me a big smile, starting to pull me towards the place where I came from.

Sesshomaru followed us, just because, I guess. He leant over to my ear and stated,"I guess I know where your perkiness comes from."

I snarled,"Oh, just the hell up, pretty boy. I'm just surprised you're allowed to go to the men's bathroom with that hair. Might as well become the next Alanis Morissette and show up to work naked with your hair covering your chest."

He scoffed, and said,"Well, that's definately a new comeback about my hair. Watch out, wall."

"Huh?" And I face-planted into a wall, may I add _'newly painted wall?'_

I fell down to the ground, coughing out excess paint. "That was nasty."I whined, wiping my face with my hand. Mom grabbed my arm and pulled me up. I brushed off some dirt, muttering some profanities to myself.

"Told you so."Sesshomaru whispered, not even bothering to ask if I'm ok. He put his hands in his pocket (ha, Alanis Morissette!) and strolled down the hallway.

_'Cute ass.'_ I shook my head quickly. _'Nevermind his butt, focus on dropping this crap off and spending time with mom.'_

Mom grabbed my hand, and said,"Come on. Lets head to your room, put your stuff there, and you can show me around."

I nodded and replied,"Mom, you know that there isn't much things to show you. The food here is worse than school! I had spaghetti that I mistook as meatloaf. Horrible!"

"Oh my god! That's awful!"She chuckled, giggling between words.

Somehow, we launched into a conversation about the old times, like the first (and only) time we went to Disneyland to celebrate my birthday when I was 7. While we spoke about when I got my foot caught in the teacup ride, there was a voice in the back of my mind.

It just kept repeating itself, saying, _'You're a danger to yourself. To everyone around you. Especially your mom. I don't see how she can even stand having to raise you. If I was your mom, I'd leave you, just like your father. He had some common sense to go. Your poor mom, she must be torment by your disorder. Maybe when you're older, when you live by yourself in the same trailor your mom died in, you'll realize that you had no meaning. No reason to live, except to torture everyone around you...' _

And it was Ms. Jefferson. Once again, putting me down. Pulling me back into my suicidal thoughts..

_'Bloody catastrophe. That wouldn't describe my suicide at all._

_'It was more of a relief.' That's what Ms. Jefferson would say if she was alive. 'We won't ever be threatened by that monster of a child.'_

_She be chatting it up with the teachers at the afterparty, happy as a child who was given a lifetime supply of cookies. There would be no problem with her world anymore. The one thing that darkened her world was gone...me._

_That's even worse than what would happen to my mom. She'd sink down to depression, sitting in a chair, looking at pictures of me the rest of her life._

_But then again, what Ms. Jefferson said about me, before I killed her, how she thinks that I think the world revolves around me. How everything should be revolved around me...it should._

_I live a crappy life, in a crappy trailor, in the middle of a crappy desert in crappy Arizona, with my mom and a crappy disorder that has been ruining my life since I was born. I deserve something good! I deserve a better place! My mom..._

_My mom deserves a better life. Her mother was a perfectionist, her father was a racist. He hated dad because he was American, not a proper Japanese businessman, the type of person he wanted his spoiled daughter to marry. And then dad leaving us because of me, and he took basically all our money due to the prenup. Mom's too stubborn to ask grandfather because he'd rub it in her face. 'I told you, you cannot trust Americans. They are gold diggers. They marry money and take it away.' he would say, constantly pushing it on mom till she snaps._

_So, yes. The world revolves around me in my mind. It should, it could, it would, and it does!_

'You are such a self-centered bitch.'

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Hope you enjoyed it! 


	6. Ebony

Hey guys..sorry for the long wait. Been working on other fanfictions. Here's the update.

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A week has passed since I entered the looney house. Why? Murdering my teacher, but she deserved to die.

My mind is full of murderous suicide, constantly stabbing my brain with images of dead coarspes. I'm going to die out of insanity! I'm a prisoner within my mind, wrapped in a blood-stained strait jacket, & going manic in the room of pure terror. White is slowly tearing my heart apart, testing my limit of self control. It drives me crazy...especially Dr. Onigumo.

He is sinister. A cold heart with blood-red eyes, clawing my emotions with pyschology shit. he's trying to kill me & I'm letting him. I'm going apatheic. Drawn into oblivion.

Ebony. Total ebony black.

But my savior is here, Sesshomaru. Long silver hair, amber eyes, perfection. He has rescued me from destroying myself one too many times. A knight in shining armor, you might say. Cheesy, Yes. But true? Most definately.

He's Dr. Onigumo's apprentice & pretty much caretaker since Onigumo visits twice a month. Why? Don't know, don't care.

But with every passing minute, paranois is consuming me. How it creeps under my skin, sending a wave of pain through every marrow of my bones. Burning my eyes & erupting through the flesh, almost like a badly broken leg. Its shoving safety pins into my arteries, just letting me bleed, while Onigumo watches, observing my ever action as if it could be my last. And might as well be if they were able to see my thoughts. 3 more years & if I make one bad move, eletric chair.

The rainbows I used to watch, the moon I used to love, teh stars I used to worship...gone. Just dust. Not even stardust...Gray. Blank. Dust.

The clouds have darkened, the sky turned crimson, & words have become meaningless. And here I lay...still, silent. Barely breathing. Scratch that. Not trying to breath. 1 - 2 minutes of no breath, I can die. Second by second.

_'1...2...3...4...5...6'_

"Rin, time for your medicine."a voice said. I heard the door open. I ignored her.

_'10...11...12...13...14...15'_

"Rin, take your medicine."

_'17...18...19...20...21...22'_

"Rin Minekawa! Medicine right now!"

_'34...35...36...37...38...39'_

"Oh my god...Mr. Taisho! Mr. Taisho!"

_'No...not now...42...43...44...45...46...'_

"What?"I heard Sesshomaru say.

"She's turning purple."

"Fine. Leave now. I'll take care of it."

The door closed and I heard him walk over to my bed.

My head was getting light.

My lungs were about to burst.

My heart just stopped beating.

He kissed me.

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I know its short, but its an update at least. Comment please. 


	7. British

ok, I updated. I'm gonna try to update once or twice a month. Been busy...ok, I'm lying. lazy and I have writer's block. Enjoy._

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_

_'He kissed me...he kissed me! Holy fuckles, I got kissed by the hottest guy in this place!!!!' _My mind kept saying that. His lips on mine, his eyes slightly open, and me with deer eyes. Sesshomaru pulled back, and I took in a humongous breath. Well, I was partly hyperventaliting, but how couldn't I?

He stared at me, more in bewilderment. "Why a suicide? You know that's just as bad as the eletric chair?"He asked, sounding, I don't know, like concerned???

I layed still. I knew I was blushing my freaking head off.

His slipped his hand to the left side of my head and twisted it around to look at him. "You're crying, you know?" I touched the corner of my eyes and there were the tears, rushing down my cheek. I looked back at him, nodding. He sighed, and leaned over me. _'What is he doing?'_ His arms wrapped snuggly around my waist, and buried his head in my shoulder._ 'He's hugging me!?'_

"You might as well go the years Rin. If I go tell Onigumo about your attempt, he'll instantly extend your stay. He says suicide are for people who can't stand life and anything in it, including friends, family, and your love."He spoke.

I sniffled a bit, saying,"You sound like you've tried to commit suicide before."

"I was in this place one time when I was a younger. Me and my brother. We got angry at each other at one point, we totally snapped. It was at our bus stop. He threw the first punch, I dodged and I did something I regret to this day."

"What?"

"I pushed him in front of a moving bus. And to add to the story, I did that physcotic laughing, like I didn't know what I truly did. The security guards threw me to the floor, and automatically arrested me. I would have gone to juvie, but my mom thought it was too horrible to go in a kids jail, so she offered the looney bin. 4 years I spent here, and at the time, I never wanted to come back. Dr. Onigumo though, he offered a job here. He thought at the time, I was the most well behaved patient, stubborn, but cooperative at the end. So, here I am. Apprentice, soon to be therapist...get the picture?"

I nodded.

He let go of me, stood up, and walked toward the door. "Dinner's at 8. I'll get you then."He said on the way out and closed the door.

"Wow. He kissed me & hugged me. Could this day get any better?"I asked myself. So...yeah. I guess I spaced out for a bit and I woke up to the sight of this, some red eyed woman giving me a shot. _'What the bloody hell!!!??? What the bloody hell? What kind of British movies have I been watching?'_

"Who the bl- hell are you!?"I screamed. This scared her slightly. She backed up an inch and then resumed her spot.

"I'm a nurse here. Kagura. I was sent to give you your shots."She answered, sounding completely annoyed.

"I get shots?"

"Yeah. They help keep your manical feelings low and almost nonexistent. Whatever. Since you woke up in the middle of it, I'll have to do it after dinner. Fuck."And she turned around and walked away.

_'Oh...she's so nice...and can't you tell that it was oozing sarcasm?'_

The door opened again. There stood Sesshomaru. "Ready?"He asked, not even looking at me.

"Yeah. Lets go."

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Sorry for the short update. It was half done and I'm not allowed to be up this early on the computer anyway. lol.

The next one is going to be hilarious. Sorta Breakfast Club-esque. Laterz!


	8. Crystal

Hey...here's the long update. Enjoy.

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Sesshomaru walked in front of me, leading me to the dining hall. I have to say, today feels quite different than usual. Maybe cause I'm used to the shrieks of terror, or manical laughter and the incessant smell of suicide that I've been experiencing all week. But there's one thing I'm not used too...dinner with others. 

Today is a first. Apparently, since I've been _well-behaved_, I'm allowed to eat with other patients. Oh lord help me...

Its not that I'm anti-social. Or that I'm racist. Its more along the lines that, are these people sane? Can they stay under control? Will they burst into insane mood and try to kill me, whether or not the fact that I do want to die? All these questions are plaquing me. I don't want to go into an animal house the second that a supervisor leaves the room, but I don't want it to be a library...silent, making me the one going insane. Or maybe, it'll be like high school. Juvenille cliques and groups. Bipolars in one group, while the murders are in another, and the anorexic & bullemics are in another. Yes, I said anorexics & bullemics. This place is not only a crazy house, but a help center.

I have only eaten with one person...and that's Sesshomaru. Hot-assed Sesshomaru...now, with probably 20 _well-behaved_ teens/adults. Oh fuck.

Sesshomaru sighed, his way of saying good luck, and stopped in front of a (white) door. He opened it. In my mind, it was one of those movie scenes. I heard the dramatic music, and the slow motion blur effects as it swung open. I gulped and stepped into the room.

Totally cafeteria-like. 6 tables. 5 kids at a seprerate table. The walls were white and there was 2 windows. They sat impatiently, and staring at me.

Sesshomaru said,"This is Rin Minekawa. Be nice to her." He then pointed at the first kid. She was short & petite with short brown hair. Her hoop earrings were bigger than her ears and she was clicking the top of her retainer. "Caroline Schick. Caroline, remember what Dr. Onigumo said about those earrings?" She stopped clicking, giving him an look full of attitude. He did nothing. She sighed and undid the earrings, dropping them on the floor rather than the hand in front of her.

He groaned and picked them up. He then pointed at the next kid. He had black emo hair. You know, when its sorta spiked in the back, but the bangs in covering his eyes? Well, he sat there, writing something in his notebook. "Colin Schick. Caroline and him are twins. Caroline dyed her hair because she doesn't want to be related to, in her words, _a loser_." He looked up, and stared at me. He smiled slightly and went back to his notebook.

He then pointed to the third kid. She was super tall and super skinny and she tapping her fingers on the table. Her long dark brown hair swayed at her waist. "Shawna Rivers. She doesn't talk much. You have a better chance of a conversation with Ginger. Her."

He pointed at the 4th kid. She had wild red hair with streaks of pink and blonde. She was headbanging to her cd player, which surprisingly she was allowed to have. "Ginger Smalec. She's the daughter of the owner of this place. She's allowed to do alot of stuff that other kids can't do. Music for example."

And lastly, at this blonde guy that reminded me of Jude Law. "Christopher Demaris. Spit. Out. The gum."He said. Christopher looked up and shrugged. He stood up and walked to the garbage where he spit it and sat back down.

Sesshomaru leant down to my ear whispering,"Wish you the best of luck." And with that, left the room.

I gulped again, and stared at these people. Caroline, glared at me. Just glared. She started clicking her retainer to the ticks of the clock. I sat down at the table in front of Colin, and looked down at the floor. I felt like everyone was staring at me, except Colin. He blissfully continued to write in his notebook.

It was probably about 5 minutes later when we finally got dinner. A big lady came into the room with a cart of 6 trays. "Hello kids. I got dinner!" So perky...ugh!

She placed the trays in front of everyone and left. And this is what each person got.

**Caroline**: Rice, steak, and french fries. With a small cup of Pepsi.

**Colin**: A thermos of tea. And a large bowl of salad.

**Shawna**: A plate of stew, turkey thigh, & some lettuce. Cup of coffee.

**Ginger**: Whopper, chicken tenders, and Coke.

**Christopher**: Cavier, tuna, and a small salad. A waterbottle full of, what else, water?

**Me**: Mashed potatos, chicken, and a bowl of ramen with iced tea.

Everyone was so intriqued with their meals. They gorged, except Shawna. She simply stared at it. Colin indulged himself with his bowl of lettuce, and looked at me quite alot. I looked back at him, and he smiled. His eyes wandered to Ribby, the name I dubbed Shawna with. Why? It should be clear, but she's wearing a tight shirt and I can see all her ribs. Thus Ribby.

He bit his lip, eyes returning to me. Colin placed all his food on his tray and stood up. Everyone stared at him. He walked over to my table. Gosh...that's out of the normal. He put the tray next to me, and held out his hand.

"Colin Schick. What's up?"He said. His voice was so soft, but cute.

I shook his hand. "Rin. Minekawa."

He took back his hand and sat down. "Cute name. So, what are you doing here?"

"I'm bipolar. Went manic and murdered my social studies teacher with a pen and stabbed her in the face multiple times."I answered as coolly as I could.

His eyes widened."Wow. I'm just in here for severe depression and cutting...and several suicide attempts."

"That's weird. We have so much in common."I smiled. He blushed, brushing his bangs from his forehead. I looked around as the kids ate loudly."So, what's the story about these kids?"

He chomped on a piece of lettuce and answered,"Um, ok. My sister got sent here because...well, I have to tell you about her first.

She thinks she's popular and stuff, so she breaks rules alot. At our old school, she totally hated me because I was so emo or goth, or whatever and she dyed her hair for that reason. She called me loser and encouraged other kids ot beat me up and make fun of me. So, that's why I'm so sensitive and stuff. Anyway, she totally despises me and eventually got in court for her many suspensions and got sent to juvie for a bit. She started a catfight with one of the 'popular' people there and got her ass kicked. So, one day she snuck poison, don't ask me where she got it, but she snuck poison into the girl's drink. She dyed and they found evidence of her doing it."

"What was the evidence?"

"Hello, its juvie, not Junior High. Its every man, or woman in this case, for themselves. Her _'friends'_ totally snubbed her out. Since the juvie is like next door, she got shipped over here. Caroline is so freaking stupid. Its obvious that she's a nerd. She's desperate for attention. I mean, in her old school, she was only friends with one super popular person. And I had more friends than her, so it drives her crazy, knowing that common sense wise, I'm a lot cooler. Its _so_ superficial."

"Are you-?"

"Gay?"Colin said, completing my question. I nodded. "No. I get it alot. I watch Laguna Beach, and 90210, and all those Californian shows and it totally rubs off on me. You can tell, right?

Ok, anyway, Ginger, she's the daughter of the owner of this place and got sent here as punishment. Believe that? Well, you would when I tell you why. She pushed her own mother down the stairs. Mother Ginger broke her neck, the certain spot that enables her to move everything below that certain bone. Now she's incapable to move anything.

Why you ask? Ginger is a spoiled princess. Her mother didn't buy her the flat screen plasma with the pink fur trim for her b-day, so she was so wicked freaked. As she cried and whined, her mother refused to get it. As she went downstairs, Ginger ran up behind her and shoved her. She lived in a 5 floor mansion and its one of those twirly 60s ones. Like _Princess Diaries_. You know Mia's stairs? Just like that. By the time she got to the end, she broke the major bones and Ginger ran off. Her father sent policemen to capture her and brought her here. Now she has to spend the rest of her life here."

"Damn. These girls are brutal."

"Duh! Well, 'cept Shawna. She's anorexic, bullemic, got lipo, starves herself, anything to be skinnier than Kate Moss. She's cool, but she's super fragile. You can't do anything to her. You can barely hug her without feeling her bones seriously rubbing on you. Its so creepy.

And then there's Christopher. Chrissy-boy simply has agoraphobia. You know what that is right?"

"No."

"Fear of being outside. He can't go to school because he has to leave his house. So, his parents finally got tired of it. When he was asleep, they hired security guys from here to carry him over here. He has never forgiven them. If anyone bothers to say anything about his fear of outside, he attacks people. Believe me, its sorta hard to talk about nature with him. He only knows about the outside as what he has read about or what he's seen on tv and on the computer which is very little."

"Wow. Everyone has their own little problem."

"I know. Lets put it in this way, the closest person to sanity is either you, me, or Shawna. No one else really. Depression makes you see alot of things in a negative way, but it also sometimes makes you see everything in a more clear and logical way because I thought that a lot of people were gonna hate me and it ended up being that I have a lot of things in common with them."

"You're God of Run-ons."I stated.

He frowned and then smirked."Yeah. My teachers hated when I talked because I would just keep going on and on."

"I'm starting to see why."I chuckled.

We just kept talking all dinner and we had really alot more than suicide & depression in common. Once we finished our meals, we sat around, bored and all. Apparently, the security guards went out to the bars and forgot to let us out...and stupider, left the keys to get out of here in the room. There's no cameras. No adults. Hell, it was like a...I don't know, felt like we were on _The Peanuts._

After that point, all I remember is Ginger swinging the key around her finger. "Who wants to go on a little trip?"She called out. I saw Caroline's head pop up as she smiled and clicked her retainer.

And there we were, all of us following Ginger back to her room. We made a lookout for any nurses or doctors as she budged her door opened. Shawna asked,"Why are we here?"

She simply ran into the room, and jumped on her bed, bouncing up and down. "Hello? I'm speaking to you!"Shawna said louder.

"Whatever, Giselle!"She replied and continued to jump.

Shawna looked down at herself. "Am I that fat!!!???"She shrieked.

Caroline clapped her hand over her mouth."Shut up, Twiggy! If anyone hears us, we're screwed."And it was so contradicting when she asked this."What _are_ we doing here?"

Ginger stopped to catch a bottle of pills that fell out of the ceiling lamp. She jumped off and showed us it.

"Is that what I think that is?"Christopher asked.

"No fucking way."I said.

"Are you serious?"Colin asked.

"That's so rad."Caroline smiled.

"Will that make me skinnier?"

We stared at Shawna.

"What?"

"Nevermind."We said at the same time.

-

I found myself in a circle, all taking turns with the methamphetamines. Me and Colin swallowed pills since it'll take the longest for the effects to kick in. Though our plan was ruined when Ginger and Caroline decided to smoke it. Oh damn, it was horrible. And Chris simply injected. Shawna snorted. Kate Moss is the closest thing to an idol she has, and since she found out she did drugs, she assumed snorting was what she did.

It was so crazy. We raided the room with all the patients' real colored clothes and dressed ourselves up. I found this glittery blue halter top, denim mini, black fishnets, and these awesome white droopy ankle boots. I chucked a white studded belt around my waist and prominated around.

Colin walked up to me, wearing all black. Black tight shirt, tight jeans, and black sneakers. He brushed his bangs over his face and held out his arm. "Shall we strut, madame?"He asked in this weird fancy accent.

I giggled and answered,"Before that,"I brushed his bangs out of his face so I could see his eyes. They were green."I'd like to see your eyes. They're pretty."And I linked my arm with his. "Now we shall." He smiled as we started to walk around the halls.

I haven't seen Caroline anywhere, but I knew Ginger was spreading the _joy_. Christopher took off, possibly the bathroom to wash off the injection blood. Shawna was in the bathroom. Its obvious what she was doing. We had another intake of the stuff and ended up telling each other about our love lives. We were sitting on a table in the dining hall and smoking out the methamphetamines.

Colin giggled and said,"I'm gonna tell you two things about my love life...actually three. giggle One, I have never had a girlfriend. Like ever. Not even a crush."

I took a huge puff and asked,"A cute guy like you? No way."

He chuckled and said,"Nope. And the reason why is because I'm asexual. Well, to girls and guys. I have no attraction to either gender whatsoever. And here's the third thing, I love transvetites and trangendered people. I like them because they're nothing. They ain't real girls or real guys. They're nothing and its so **hot**."

"Really?"

"Totally. I think they're sexy as hell. That's why when I grow up, I want to go to like Hollywood or something, or anywhere that has a lot of transgendered people that got surgery like Alexis Arquette. Oh my god, she's so hot. I'd fuck her in a minute."He squealed.

I just nodded and took another smoke. I smoked it all out though. Had to find Ginger. "I'll be back. Gotta get more."I groaned and hopped off the table. I opened the door and walked down the halls to Ginger's room.

A humongous cloud of smoke erupted from the room when I opened the door."What the fuck?"I moaned, coughing from the smoke. I peered into the room to see 3 kids in some orgy and the rest were so high, they looked dead. They were lopped all over each other and it was so weird.

Ginger's head popped out of the blankets and said,"Hiya Rin-Rin!"She was so high, it was not funny. Of course, I was too, but I was trying to levelheaded. She motioned me over, saying,"Wanna have fun??! giggles I know you do!!! Haha!" I just stepped back from the room, and ran without even closing the door.

My vision was becoming blurry and everything was spinning. I was stumbling and fell over. I looked up and saw Colin looking at me. His face was jumbled up and it was just a swirl of shaped and colors. "Rin...Rin? Are you ok? I'll help you up." His arms wrapped around me and picked me up, putting him gently over his shoulder. I could hear him speaking to me, but it came out in mumbles. My head was hurting and we pasted by this room with an open window in the hall. And I saw something.

Sesshomaru.

Naked Sesshomaru.

Naked Sesshomaru on a bed.

Just as I felt a blush come cross my face, my little sight was shattered when I saw a woman. Not just a woman. That Kagura nurse-lady. She was underneath him. And I heard every disgusting moan coming from her mouth.

I saw this for about 3 seconds passing the room.

I tried to pretend it was just the crystal affecting me. I really wanted it. I wanted it to be a terrible hallucination. But it wasn't. Everything was spinning again. Nothing was right. Everything was wrong. And it just became blank. Desolate.

And then, my head met the ground so suddenly.

**Blank.**

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Hope you liked it. 


	9. Damn

Ok...update! Sorry that it was so long...been busy with some music fanfictions on another website.

**kagome7304** :: Thanks...it does suck that they're freaking. Oh well!  
**april kalicharan** :: Yeah...thanks for reading.  
**pinguina** :: Rin is going through a rough time...poor her.  
**LordOfTheWest** :: This is a Sess/Rin fanfic. It just that its starting out that way...believe me...it will change later in the story. _Believe_ me.

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Out of all my suicide attempts, there's two that always sticks out of my mind. 

The first one, I was nine when I had this attempt.

I skipped school to hang out with Kanna.

Kanna was never cruel.  
She was my guardian angel.  
Kanna was perfect.  
She cared for me.  
I loved her.

She wore white dresses and had white hair and white eyes and everything white.

Her brother...he was different.

His name was Akago.

Akago was cold-hearted.  
He was abstract demon.  
Akago was flawed.  
He didn't give a shit.  
I loved him for it.

He wore all black, even though his hair and eyes were white.

He drank. He smoked. He did drugs. He stole. He cut. He killed.

Everything the opposite of Kanna.

Kanna and Akago always butted heads.

It was truly God vs. Devil.

And its still a waging battle.

That day, Kanna went out to grocery store with her mother. Her father said I could wait in her room. So I did. I sat on her white bed. I know that I said I hate white, but at the time, it was a comforting white.

I was inspecting her porcelain dolls when I heard a blast of metal music coming from his brother's room, following by a squeak of pain. I peered my head out the door to look what it was. His door was slightly open. Just a 5 inch crack. He was kneeling on the ground with something shiny in his hand. I heard the squeak again. I realized it was him.

I was stupid then, so I gasped and slapped my hand over my mouth. He heard. His head turned around and he growled,"You saw?" I closed the door quickly. It was also stupid because he stopped and came into the room.

"No! I didn't see!"I said. He grabbed me by the neck and lifted me off the ground. His arms were bleeding and dripping on Kanna's white floor.

"I'm gonna make sure you don't tell.."He hissed, squeezing my neck tighter. I couldn't breathe and then he stopped. He just stopped. I was confused and he dropped me on the ground. He looked at me weirdly. "Are you that bipolar chick that lives next door?"He asked. I nodded.

"How'd you know?"I asked.

He pointed at my neck. "There's a healed slit on your neck."

"Yeah...did that last year."

He smiled, nodding his head. I guess suicide was something he could respect. He gave me his hand to stand up. I took it and pulled myself to my feet. He smiled more sadistically and licked his front tooth.

"Wanna die?"

"Not in Kanna's room. Its bad enough your blood is all over her floor."

"It comes out with club soda. And I don't mean in here. My room. What do you say?"He whispered in my ear. He was totally convincing me to do it...so I did. Peer pressure at its most.

He took my arm and it was exactly like getting dragged to the dark side, but I didn't care. Hello? Suicidal, much? So, he leads me into his fortress of darkness. Black walls, black/red carpet, posters of gore, it was so dark. I sat on the floor while he went to close the door. It was pitch black. I heard him rummaging through some stuff and then a flicker of light appeared. It was a candle. He placed it in front of me. He lit another. He put it where he was sitting before. And the last one was in a oil lamp. He made it brighter so we can see what we're cutting.

Akago took his place on the floor across from me. He handed me a razor. I took it and asked,"Do you have a blade? Like boxcutter or a real blade or knife? I can't use razors. They give me infections."

He rolled his eyes and reached underneath his bed. He dragged out a small metal box. He took a key from his back pocket and unlocked the box. He lifted the lid, pushing it in front of me. "Pick your weapon and lets get started." There were so many different knives in there. I picked this nice one with small flowers going up the handle and engraved vines up the blade. He slammed it shut and shoved it underneath.

"Ok. We're prepared, but now we have to plan. Die immediately or hurt ourselves before dying."

"Hurt ourselves first. I have a better idea though. Slit 2 inches below your wrist and then burn the cut until it reaches the wrists."

He smiled."Clever...that way it could look like we got burned to death. You're a smart little cutter."

He ruffled my hair up and I giggled. He stopped immediately and hissed,"If we actually live through this by accident, you better not tell anyone." I nodded.

Akago just started his cuts, so I did too. It didn't hurt. I don't remember what happened next, but I remember placing my wrist over my candle flame and watching the flame engluf my arm, leaving black scars on the surface on the skin. I thought I wouldn't feel it, but I did. It was strange too.

At a young age, I learned to pysche out pain. If I knew pain was coming, I would think it away. Its nothing but a natural reaction of the brain. I was aware it hurt.

It started as a normal pang. Just a little flick or something. It then grew so suddenly that I couldn't take it at the rate it came. It took over and I screamed.

Blood poured and more of my skin began to peel off. I ran out of the room, ignoring Akago's feeble attempts for me to come back. I opened the bathroom door and immediately turning the bathtub on. I plunged my arm into the ice cold water. It was a sweet release of pain, but I was aware that the loss of blood was about to knock me unconcious.

And then...boom.

Water is rushing over my head with no point of stop and it slowly drifted into my throat and into my lungs. It erupted into me like a rapid river and everything went black.

Next day, I end up in the hospital for (of course) extreme blood loss. They found out that Akago convinced me to commit suicide so a restraining order was created. He had to stay like 10 or 100 feet away from me. Whatever. I don't remember the number. This restraining order was valid for 6 years. I never saw him again until six years later.

-

This brings me to my second suicide attempt. I tried this one a few months ago. It was complicated or anything. Just swallow one or two whole cases of pills. My mom went out to get groceries, so I was all alone.

I was sitting in my room, on the floor. There layed the open capsule full of pills. I was about to take the first case when I heard a squeak. I lifted my head to up to see if anything was there. My door was open anyway. Nothing. I shrugged, focusing on my current _project_.

I grabbed five pills from the case and popped them in my mouth. Followed with a swish of water, I swallowed them. (They're only pinkie nail sized pills.) Just as I went for another five, I heard a slam of a door.

"What the hell...?"I mumbled. I got up and stepped out of my room. It was dark, but I could tell no one was there. I just as I was about to step back into my room, a hand grabbed my body and covered my mouth.

"Hey Rin..." the voice spoke. "Come with me..."

The hands pulled me into my mother's dark room and I was pushed onto the bed. I looked up, trying to see the dark figure. The bedroom light turned on...dim and flickering. There stood Akago.

"Akago?? I thought you were in juvie."I mumbled.

"Got out early." He scoffed.

"You can't be here...the restraining ord-"

"That thing!?"He yelled. He laughed and lent over me. "That thing was valid for six years...guess what? Six years past, sweetheart." He grabbed hold of my face and purred,"You've grown very sexy...you know that, right?"

He let my face go and climbed on top of me. He pulled off his shirt, revealing his very chiseled chest. He looked at me with eyes full of lust.

"You don't mind if I..."Akago trailed off, ripping off my shirt and bra like nothing.

I didn't do anything. I couldn't. If I did anything, I knew he would kill me. Damn him. I let him take all our clothes off.

Akago grabbed hold of my face again and whispered,"Are you pure?" I nodded. He smiled his trademark sadistic smirk.

I don't know what happened after that. The pills took effect and things were out of control. I faintly remember me saying, 'Fuck me.' Then all the feelings. The feeling of fingers between my legs, groping, dry 'thing', tongues, teasing, and pleasure that ran through my body the whole time. And then things became more clear. My vision focused on one thing...Akago, fully-dressed, running out of my house.

The one thing that ran through my mind :: _'He raped me_.'

I sat up, pulling the blankets over my chest. The second thing that popped up :: _'I let him violate me_.'

I looked down at the bed. The third thing that appeared in my mind :: _'How am I going to explain what happened to mom's bed_?'

Mom came home and she found out the hard way, seeing me naked, covered in blankets, crying, and how stained the bed was. I remember being smacked across the face. Being asked who did it. His name rolled off my tongue...probably the same way I screamed it.

Arrested once again, this time for raping a minor. He's not getting out until he's 40. That's what I hope.

-

If Akago wasn't so seductive...maybe if I wasn't such a tramp, it wouldn't happen. But I let it.

I wish I perserved my chastity...leave for someone who deserved it...like Sesshomaru...or Akago if he wasn't so deranged...

Sesshomaru...he deserves it, but I don't. He's with Kagura.

Damn that lucky bitch.

* * *

Alright...its not good...but its an update at least.

Better ones coming soon.

Review please.


	10. Cellfone

**slayprincess** :: Yeah...bloody hell rocks. Thank yous!  
**LordOfTheWest** :: Thank you...  
**JENN2418** :: Yay for loving my story, lol.  
**Kaiya Sara** :: Thanks...just read ahead and you'll be super happy about this chappie.  
**Sessho's Girl** :: Alright, here's your update. Enjoy!

Btw, I know I spelt cellphone wrong...I just don't wanna make any of my chapter titles longer than 8 letters.

* * *

I thought about how my life could have been worse at this point.

I could be blind. I could be deaf. I could be mute. Hell, I could be all three AND be bipolar, but I still see the glass half empty.

I just wonder...

Why must I contemplate everything? I fell like I have thinking OCD...ha, mom would have a cow if I was blind, deaf, mute, bipolar, have OCD, and to top if off...PMSing!

No matter how many attempts I make to be funny, it's not gonna cheer me. I just hate it.

'_I see... you turn your back on life again.' _I heard a voice sing. '_Nice pipes_.' I thought.

'_And I see... your stumbling down worked smooth again_.'

_'I feel...despair kissing our lips again. I feel... despair holding our hearts again_.'

The voice stopped as I squinted my eyes to see where it was coming from. I didn't see anything, but I felt cold lips pressed to my ears and whispered,"You do know that your little drug spree has massively decreased your chance of getting out of here and increased your chance of the electric chair?"

I groaned, knowing it was him. I felt a butterflies in my stomach for being in his presence (even if I couldn't see him). Then a giant boulder crash into my lower intestines when I thought back to the last memory of 'The Meth Adventure.'

"Sesshomaru...I'm fully aware...now where the hell am I?"I grumbled, not bothering to fully open my eyes.

"Hospital. I heard a guy screaming. I went to go see what it was and it was your little new boyfriend, complaining about a chipped nail while you were passed out on the stairs. You were almost dead. We took blood samples and found drugs in your blood. Checked your dinnermates...also drugged up. So all of you guys are pretty much screwed." He said, so monotoned, I swear it would have been like he was dead.

I opened my eyes to be greeted by a blue sky. A wonderful vibrant blue sky. I wanted to reach up for it so bad, to be able to tou-

"OW!"I screeched as my hand crashed in an invisible surface and fell next to me. I looked carefully at the invisible surface to discover a very clean window...

"Glass."

"I know."

"Why did you..."

"Shut up."

"Very talkactive, aren't we?"

"Whatever."

"I'd have more exciting conversations with the walls."

"You talk to walls."

"No, just comparing you to a wall."

"Fuck you."

"You wish, little girl."

"You're damn right...by the way, I was being sarcastic." _'Liar.'_ "Don't you dare start that again..." I whispered to myself.

"Excuse me?"

"I talk to myself."

"Alright, I'll be leaving then. I'll be back in a few. Later." Sesshomaru said.

Footsteps walked the opposite of where I layed and a door shut close.

The door awoke me fully, realizing I was lying in an uncomfortable bed. I rolled over best as I could to see the seat where Sesshomaru sat. My eyes moved around the room.

White.

They rolled back to the seat, which lead to the desk next to me, which lead to a lonely little cellphone. Without thinking, my hand grasped it. I flipped it open and up popped the background of Sesshomaru and his little slut kissing.

"Yuck."I seethed through clenched teeth. I went through his address book. _'Dad... Kagura... Koga...Jaken... Bankotsu...Stepmom... Dr.Onigumo... wow, that's a very small circle of people_.' I searched through some more thingspictures, ringtone, games until I found a little checklist. I entered on it and a list appeared. I read through and it read ::

(x) _Screw Kagura.  
_(x) _Check Rin.  
_(x) _Try not to kill Dr.Onigumo at meeting.  
_(x) _Check all patients  
_(x) _Check Rin.  
_(x) _Eat lunch.  
_(x)_ Check Rin (wth do i have this 3 times?)  
_(x)_ Contemplate what the things I ate at lunch.  
_( )_Dump Kagura._

"WHAT!!!???" I screamed. I kept reading on, feeling the boulder rise from my intestines like I had 70s Arnold Schwarzenegger chuck the damn thing like a cotton ball ::

( )_ (Not) Have the shit beat out of me  
_( ) _(Hopefully) Date other people.  
_( ) _Check Rin. (dammit)  
_( ) _Go home.  
_( ) _Eat a large pie of pizza and call it a day..if Kagura hasn't killed me._

My jaw dropped as I reread the thing about dumping Kagura...

"Oh...my...fudging gosh..."

I stared at the tiny screen, hope basically filling my heart. '_I have a chance...YES!!!...well, not much of a positive one, but I have a chance...no more glass half empty. Now its half full _!'

I heard footsteps heading toward the door and I quickly exited out of everything and chucked the damn thing back onto the desk. The door slowly opened and I went back into the position I was before. '_Don't catch me, don't catch me...ha. Run, Run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man_.'

"So, I got you a soda. You better like Ginger Ale because I ain't going back down there. There's a nasty ass nurse who was flirting with me." He grumbled. I turned over, looking all innocent and oblivious.

"Yea...I like. Give it."I said as cool as I could.

He handed it to me and sat back in his little red chair. "So, you and I are leaving this place in a bit. They're gonna run one more blood test on you and then we're out. Alright?"He said.

I nodded and took a sip.

His eyes stared at me for a bit and went towards his phone. He grabbed the little thing, shoving it in his back pocket. Things got quiet after that. I knew I was going to freak sooner or later. He knew too because he immediately turned on the tv when I started to scratch my arms quite roughly with the tips of my nails. It was a stupid opera.

"Change." I stated.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Its interesting."

"Its fat ladies with nice pipes. Change it."

"No."

"Give me the remote."

"No."

"Why?"

"I say so."

"That's not fair."

"Deal with it."

"You suck."

"Your opinions are meaningless."

"You must make women you like _real_ special."

"Ouch, your sarcasm hurts so much."

I crossed my arms and pouted. I know I'm fifteen...but its just too mean to hog a remote, especially if you're not the one in the sick bed & with the life-altering disorder.

Thankfully a doctor came before I pounced on Sesshomaru for the remote. '_And then kiss his sexy lips and massage his delicious tongue_...' My mind taunted.

"Oh my god, will you give it a rest, you little malicious brat?! Can't you once be on my side and not torment the shit out of me!?"I screamed.

Sesshomaru snapped his head towards me, and the doctor eyed me funny. I flushed and did my trademark 'uhhh...' for awhile. "Iblamethedrugs!"I spat and hid under the blankets like a turtle hides in their shell.

"Is she?.."the doctor started.

"No, she's fine. That's normal."Sesshomaru said. I peaked a little look from under the blanket and then hid back again. "Yeah, she's fine. She's just very weird. So, should I leave for her blood test?"

The doctor looked at his clipboard and said,"No...Ms. Minekawa is good. Since that's...normal for her, I think she's good to go."

"Haha..."I chuckled. "Taco Bell."

Sesshomaru smirked and left his face as quick as it came. "So, I sign her out at the main desk?"

"Yep. Have a nice day! Ms. Minekawa, your clothes are in the bathroom. Change and head down to the desk, alright?"The doctor said. I stuck a 'ok' sign from under the blankets.

"I'm going back to the...happy home...shit."

'_Oh boy...here we go again...'

* * *

_

Alright...that was your update...yay! Celebrate...eat Twinkies...they're good for your soul. lol. 


	11. Toyota

Ok...update. It took awhile...this is more of a filler though.

* * *

I own a Toyota...a red crappy one. I don't know what type of Toyota. All I know is that its a piece of shit. Its headlights are broken, the AC breaks down in the summer and the heater breaks down in the winter (oh how convinient), the engine stops alot, the hood is ripped off, they are key scratches on the side, & graffiti ALL over.

Its bites. But I have a car at least. I know I'm fifteen, but what do you think? I live in the middle of nowhere Arizona with police miles away, I can get away with driving.

-

"Twenty two...Twenty three...Twenty four...Twenty five...Twenty six..."

"Can you stop counting the pennies?"Sesshomaru asked. I looked up to see his annoyed face.

I frowned and said,"I'm bored...and your car smells bad."

He shook his head. "This Toyota is old. Don't blame me for the smell."

"Try Frebreeze."

He groaned. "Play with the radio."

I rolled my eyes and started tuning. "Crap...crap...crap...really crappy..." Then I heard Buckcherry come on. "How bout this?" He just nodded and made a turn.

-insert lyrics-

"I like this song." Sesshomaru murmered before pulling up to a gas station. He parked on the side and asked,"Do you want something to drink...eat?"

"Pringles and Cherry slushie."

He turned off the car and replied,"Well, get up. I'm not getting it for you. I get you stuff enough as it is." He got out and slammed the door. I pouted and got out, closing the door like he did. I followed him into the small, greasy store.

It smelt like burnt toast and alcohol.

Anyway, we're walking around, looking for shit to eat basically. I went up the junk food aisle, searching for my Pringles. Unfortunately, there wasn't. I got Lays instead. As for the slushie, wasn't a machine for it. Damn. Sesshomaru was gathering up a handful of junk food. Candy and chips with a couple of...beers?? I grabbed some Skittles since I don't think he'd notice if I got some.

"Rin, bring the stuff up."He directed from the front counter. I ran up and dropped the stuff on the counter. I looked at the three beers and then at him. He didn't really notice my questioning face. "Its not for me, stop looking at me that way. Its for Kagura." After that, I think I heard something like, 'As if I'll drink that brain cell killing beverage.'

He got them paid for and as we were leaving with the bags, this guy with a long trench coat walked in, bumping into me without a sorry or excuse me...jerk. I turned my head to see the guy with a gun to the cashier's head. "Oh fuck."I whispered.

"What?"Sesshomaru asked.

"There's a guy holding up the store."

He rolled his eyes and huffed. "Why today?...ok. Rin, you go in the car and stay there. Do not come out for anything, got it?"

I tilted my head and asked,"Why?"

"Because...I'm gonna _'intervene_.' "

The way he said it made me scared. Was he actually gonna go in and inte...interva...what that word was? He jostled me towards the car and gave me the bags. I did as he said. I walked to the car and got into the passenger seat. I leant against the window. I had to know what was happening, but I had to be stuck with sound. I wish could've saw...then an idea hit me.

I got out of the car and ran to the side of the building. I hopped onto the garbage cans, trying to balance myself and peered through the dirty tiny window. I looked through and saw the guy with a gun to Sesshomaru's head. Sesshomaru had some knife to the guys stomach. I squinted so maybe I can see what it was. It was...his nails? "Whoa, I thought his nails were short." I said to myself.

It was weird. It was like a showdown thing. The cashier was hidden under the desk. The guy shot the gun. I thought Sesshomaru was dead for sure, but he did like a Matrix thing. Just as the gun went off, he ducked and did like an uppercut stab into the stomach. He slowly walked towards the counter, pushing the guy with him, but he was dead already. I heard him asking the cashier something about a garbage bag. The cashier ran to the closet and pulled out a big black one. He covered the upper body of the dead dude and Sesshomaru removed his...nails from the guy as the he helped the cashier cover up the guy. Once it was done, Sesshomaru started leaving and I had to run like hell back to the car.

Luckily, he's slow, because I would have totally got caught. So, I'm sitting in the car like nothing happened and Sesshomaru gets into the drivers seat, wiping his hands from blood. He started up the car and backed up, but not before stopping and asking,"Why'd you leave the car?"

I tried to play it off. "Um, me? Leave the car? I didn't. You told me to stay, and I followed." I smiled and chuckled awkwardly.

He nodded and asked,"Then why is there a glob of grape bubblegum stuck to your shoe?"

"Ew! I don't remember getting gum stuck to my shoe when I was outsid..."I looked up at him. He smirked, and shook his head. "Ok, I did."

He continued to back up and pull out onto the road. We drove for awhile. It was so quiet...crap. I started clawing at my skin and slightly hyperventilating. This time, Sesshomaru didn't seem to notice. I dug deeper into my skin, feeling skin tear and blood dripping. He still didn't notice. _'Stop being so fucking quiet...STOP_!' I pressed my nails completely into my skin.

I shrieked as loud as I could at that moment.

Sesshomaru obviously got scared there because we started swerving and we almost crashed into a pole while he tried to pull over. I kept screaming. He looked over at me and tried pulling my hand from my arm. I growled and ran out of the car. I ran into the field, not even looking back at him. I thought I'd get away. I'm the fastest runner on my _'disabled' _track team. Once again, this _'disabled' _thing is just normal people with phobias, conditions, and mental problems.

I felt extra heat behind me. '_He caught up_.' Then I was tackled to the ground. "Rin, I'm gonna do this for your own good." He said and then I felt a needle being held against my skin.

'_ I remember sneaking away from home at night to see Akago. It wasn't to commit suicide or anything, just to talk. It was a week until e had to go to juvie. He just wanted to see me for the last time until the years he'd spend there. Akago sat on the boulder and helped me sit on it with him._

_"So, how's life going for you?"He asked, brushing his hair with his fingers._

_My mouth twitched and I answered,"Pretty good I guess. Nothing to do."_

_"Yeah..."He sighed. It got really quiet after that. There's not much to say when you know you're the cause of someone going to juvie even though the decision of suicide was semi yours. _

_"Akago?"_

_"Hhm?"_

_"Do you have any drugs on you?"_

_"Surprisingly, yes. Its the last thing I'm having. Its a heroin injection."_

_"...I'll have some."_

_"Ok, but if I'm caught with it __and__ you, I will make a promise that I'll kill you sometime in the future." He said, taking the needle out of his pocket. I knew he was dead serious about it. He doesn't lie about killing. He drew the weapon and put it to his wrist. He was about to push in, but he stopped. He looked at me and smiled. "Ladies first." He chuckled. He took my wrist, and put it to my skin. I was preparing for the intake, but it never happened. Two headlights flashed against us, followed by a shout of,"Drop the weapon and step away from the girl!"_

_Akago whipped his head at the police and then at me. "You stupid bitch! You set me up!!!" He screamed._

_I nervously shook my head. "No, I didn't! I have no idea why they're here."_

_"You fucking lying tramp!" He tackled me down to the ground. I tried to get out of the hold, but he was too strong for me. "Oh, you're getting your shot..."He murmered. He stuck it to my neck and pierced my skin with it, injecting the heroin into a vein. Before it was all put in, police ripped him off me._

_I got up and looked back at him. He was being pulled back as he growled,"I told you! When I get out, I am going to kill you! I'm gonna stab you to death and I'm gonna make your mom bathe in your fucking blood!"_

_I was scared. The police tried to tell me that he couldn't. They didn't know him. I knew him. He'd kill me whether he gets caught or not_...'

I was silent.  
I didn't fidget.  
I just felt the needle.  
It poked in.  
It pulled out.

I passed out.

* * *

Ok...your welcome...please review. No flamers...gr. Alright? plz&thks. 


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